Gentleness

One side of the lesson sheet contains a self-examination designed to help you evaluate your gentleness.  However, this is not the ultimate evaluation tool.  Be sure to read the Bible, pray for your spiritual growth, and talk to others as you consider growing in gentleness and the other Marks of a Christian.

Gentleness does not stand alone.
Gentleness is rooted in humility.
Gentleness is loving.
Gentleness does what is necessary to make peace.
Gentleness is selfless.
Gentleness is kind.
Gentleness is good.

These bolded words sound like other Marks of a Christian.

Here are some verses on gentleness:

Who is Jesus in Matthew 11:29?

Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

 

How should I speak according to Proverbs 15:1?

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger 

How should I live according to Philippians 4:5?

Let your gentle spirit be known to all people.  The Lord is near.

Gentleness is difficult for us to understand and live out because of several misunderstandings.

First, we need to understand the definition of gentleness.  Gentleness is NOT a lack of power; it is the proper use of power.

Second, we misunderstand the God of the Bible.  Many people think that God in the New Testament is gentle and that God in the Old Testament is judgmental and angry.  This is not true.  God is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow.  His mercy is seen in both the New and Old Testament.  Think about examples of this.  God's holiness and righteousness are seen in the New and Old Testament.

With all these and other Biblical truths about gentleness, Bridges shares the following thoughts about the gentle Christian. 

The Gentle Christian will actively seek to make others "restful in our presence."

The Gentle Christian will demonstrate respect for the personal dignity of the other person.

The Gentle Christian will avoid blunt speech and abrupt manner instead seeking to answer everyone with sensitivity and respect.

The Gentile Christian will not feel threatened by opposition or resent those who oppose them.  Instead, they will gently instruct.

"We often think we are standing on principle when in reality we may be only insisting on our opinion."

We need to ask ourselves, "Am I trying to make my point and push my preference rather than make peace.

We really need to consider what Romans 14:19 and 20 say.

While there are many areas where each person needs to grow in gentleness, I mentioned two areas where gentleness needs to be considered and lived out in class.

In politics

We must understand that our savior will not be elected into power through a political process.

In their book How Can I Love Church Members with Different Politics? Jonathan Lee and Andy Naselli share that when non-Christians talk about politics, much of the emphasis is on what they think.  Christians must remember our political conversations have a higher authority.  We must first consider what God thinks and says about the matter. 

They go onto write that there are whole-church issues and Christian-freedom issues.  Whole-church issues should be explicilty Biblical and clear.  At the same time you may have Biblical convictions about Chistian-freedom issues but you also understand the role these beliefs play churchwide.  

In parenting

"Gentle Parenting" is not Gentle Parenting.

There is a current trend called "Gentle Parenting." 

The Gospel Coalition article "Is Gentle Parenting Biblical?" offers two unbiblical concepts in this school of thought.

First, "bad behavior is caused by feelings produced by environmental and external factors."  One proponent of Gentle Parenting writes, "I truly do believe that we are all good inside." And "When you're confident in your child's goodness, you believe in their ability to behave 'well' and do the right thing." 

The second problem is downplaying and, in some cases, eliminating the role of rewards and punishment.

Much of Gentle Parenting focuses on the child.

Proper, Biblical, Gentle Parenting considers the child, loves the child, and wants what is best for the child.  The difference is who determines the best.  Is it the child through his/her feelings or God through His character and His Word?

ADDITIONAL NOTES from The Fruitful Life by Jerry Bridges:

The profile of gentleness, as it should appear in our lives, will first include actively seeking to make others feel at ease and "restful in our presence."

Gentleness will demonstrate respect for the other person's personal dignity.  Where necessary, it will seek to change a wrong opinion or attitude by persuasion and kindness, not by domination or intimidation.

Gentleness will also avoid blunt speech and abruptness, instead seeking to answer everyone with sensitivity and respect.  It is ready to show consideration to all.  Gentle Christians do not feel they have the liberty to "say what I think and let the chips fall where they may."

Gentile Christians will not feel threatened by opposition or resent those who oppose them.  Instead, they will seek to gently instruct.

Synonyms - yieldedness, reasonableness, big-heartedness, geniality, considerate

"What is the right thing to do in this situation?"

Not confused with "If it feels right, do it," which is self-centered and focuses on carnal desires.

Ask, "What is best for this person?"

We often think we're standing on principle when, in reality, we may be only insisting on our opinion.

Ask others:

• Are we dogmatic and opinionated, blunt, and abrupt? 
• Do we seek to intimidate/dominate others by sheer force of personality?
• Do people feel uneasy because they think we are silently judging weaknesses and faults?

Ask the Holy Spirit:

• To make use aware of specific situations in which we fail.
• Identify specific.  Don't just think in generalities.

 

Prayer adapted from A Prayer for Growth in Gentleness

Dear Lord Jesus, no one is more gentle than you.  No one is as welcoming of sinners, as kind to the broken, or as understanding of the struggling as you.

Gentle me,

When I am behind slow drivers who stay in the fast lane,

when I face both fair and unfair criticism.

when I think things that are obvious to me ought to be obvious to everybody else

when people invade "my" space—as though I have some inalienable right to an uninterrupted life

when I'm too tired to engage those who really need me to listen.

when the vacation gets cut short by a crisis

when friends keep making the same mistakes and foolish choices

when the restaurant sends me home with the wrong takeout order

when Satan starts condemning me for things I actually did, but things for which you already paid my debt.

when I start debating theology rather than loving the people who see things differently

when I can't "fix" the people you never gave me to fix

when the care I just fixed needs fixing again.

May your nearness generate much quicker repentance on my part when my first reaction might be agitation, frustration, whining, or worry.

Make me gentle by the gospel and for your glory.

So very Amen, I pray, in your kind and loving name.

Goodness

Class notes from Drew Ford

Notice that GOODNESS is one evidence of the fruit of the Spirit - not worked up from within us but developed by the Holy Spirit in our lives as we submit to Him.

Goodness in man is not a mere passive quality but the deliberate preference of right to wrong, the firm and persistent resistance of all moral evil, and the choosing and following of all moral good.

M.G. Easton writes that the Goodness of God is the "perfection of his character which he exercises towards his creatures according to their various circumstances and relations (Ps. 145:8, 9; 103:8; 1 John 4:8).  Viewed generally, it is benevolence; as exercised with respect to the miseries of his creatures it is mercy, pity, compassion, and in the case of impenitent sinners, long-suffering patience; as exercised in communicating favor on the unworthy it is grace.  Goodness and justice are the several aspects of one unchangeable, infinitely wise, and sovereign moral perfection.  God is not sometimes merciful and sometimes just, but eternally infinitely just and merciful.  God is infinitely and unchangeably good (Zeph. 3:17), and his goodness is incomprehensible by the finite mind (Rom. 11:35, 36). 

What characteristics of the works of the flesh are opposites of GOODNESS?  ALL of them.

Good and kind have distinct meanings:
Good refers to something morally right or beneficial.
Kindness refers to being considerate and compassionate towards others.
While both come from places of compassion, the distinction lies in where these acts are felt and by whom.

Unlike our English usage of GOOD as a BASE or OK level that is exceeded by BETTER and BEST – God's usage in the Bible gives us GOOD as the Highest level of character and moral virtue.

God's goodness appears in two things: giving and forgiving.  (Easton)

-=-=-=-=-=-

 Additional Notes from The Fruitful Life

Goodness is the activity calculated to advance that happiness.

Goodness is kindness in action

Goodness involves deliberate deeds that are helpful to others.

Acts 10:38 - Jesus went about doing good.

Ephesians 2:8 - 10

• created to do good works
• these good works were prepared in advance

Most of our opportunities for good deeds are in the course of our daily lives.

The challenge is to be alert for these opportunities and see them not as interruptions or inconveniences but as occasions for doing the good works God has planned for us.

Doing Good @ Work

We should think of our vocation not as a necessary evil to pay the bills, nor even as an opportunity to become rich but as the primary path of our Christian walk wherein God has planned good deeds for us to do.

If we are to grow in the grace of goodness, we must have the right attitude about our vocation.

Doing Good @ Home

Galatians 6:10

Somehow it seems more spiritual to babysit some other lady's children for free than to help mom with dishes after dinner.

 Doing Good to ALL people

• Pray, "Lord wh"what will you have me do?"
• DO IT

"rue goodness is self-sacrificing, not only of money but time also.

We will always be too busy to help others unless we really grasp the importance God puts on our doing good deeds for others.

True goodness does not look to the recipient or even the results of its deeds for its reward.  It looks to God alone and finding His smile of approval.  It gains the needed strength to carry on.

Consider your gifts, your talents, your vocation, and your circumstances as a special trust from God with which to serve Him by serving others.

Remember that you are responsible not for doing all the good that needs to be done in the world but for doing what God has planned for you.

All of us can administer the kind or encouraging word to do the little, perhaps unseen, deed that makes life more pleasant for someone.

PRAYER

Acknowledge your need for His divine grace to enlarge your soul and enable you to look beyond yourself to the concerns and needs of those around you.