Christians Struggling with Family

In the November 8th Struggling Christian class, we introduced the theme of the next several classes: Christians Struggling with Family. We all have family struggles in various areas and to various degrees.  How can we worship God and love others as we work through family struggles?  I hope these lessons will help us prayerfully consider how we can do this.  

"Family is a gift to enjoy, but it makes a terrible god. And it can become a god whether one is married with kids, married and childless, or single... The throne of our heart is reserved for Christ alone."  From www.desiringgod.org/articles/the-captivating-power-of-a-good-family

This Blast Through the Bible - Family Edition helps us see that many family problems in the Bible are heart problems.  During our class discussion, we talked about much more than what you see below.  

1. Genesis 3 - Adam and Eve

Adam doesn't fulfill his God-given leadership role.  He is an example of passivity.  Eve questions God's command.  She actually adds to God's commandment, "You may surely eat of every tree of the garden, but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat" (Genesis 2:16), by saying they should not eat the fruit or touch it.  This chapter also shows a lot of blame-shifting.   

Leadership Problem. 

2. Genesis 4 - Cain and Abel

Cain murders his brother Abel.  His heart was not reserved for God alone.  God did not look favorably on Cain's sacrifice.  God talked to Cain about anger and sin.  Cain's response was to murder his brother.  This was so much more than a sibling rivalry.  This was a worship war in Cain's heart. 

Worship Problem.

3. Genesis 25 - 27 - Jacob and Esau

The narrative of Isaac, Rebekah, Esau, and Jacob is filled with favoritism, sibling rivalry, and family deception. 

Favoritism and Deception Problems.

4. Genesis 37 - 45 - Twelve brothers

The story of Jacob's twelve sons is filled with problems.  God's promise to Abraham is fulfilled through a far-from-perfect family.  Favoritism, jealousy, lying, and more mark the family.  And yet, at the end of the narrative, Joseph tells his brothers, "As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive" (Genesis 50:20). 

Jealousy and Lying Problems 

5.  Numbers 12

"Miriam and Aaron spoke against Moses because of the Cushite woman whom he had married" (Numbers 12:1).  This verse is filled with family tension.  Later in the chapter, God addresses the specific problem.  Miriam and Aaron questioned Moses and, ultimately, God's authority (12:6-8).  

Authority Problems. 

6.  2 Samuel 13 - 18

David is referred to as a man after God's heart (1 Samuel 13:14, Acts 13:22), and yet he committed adultery and had a murderous son pursue him.  He was not perfect.  However, his life was marked by genuine repentance, a maturing walk with God, and a growing understanding of sin and righteousness. 

Sin Problem. 

7.  Other verses

The Bible has many other stories of messed-up families.  This article, God's Mercy In Messed Up Families, covers several other messed-up families and explains why there are so many of these families and not many "harmonious" families.  Reason 1:  "Most families aren't harmonious.  Humanity is not harmonious."  Reason 2: "The Bible's main theme is God's gracious plan to redeem needy sinners."  The messiness in families helps us see our sinfulness. 

Messy Problem

Over the next couple of weeks, we will look at specific struggles in family dynamics, from parenting to helping aging parents.  

As we think about this two big and different words will be coming up repeatedly.

Forgiveness and Reconciliation. We will delve into these more each week, but here is a short thought on each.

Forgiveness is an individual heart position for our sake and in obedience to Christ.

Reconciliation is mutual trust that needs to be pursued (Romans 12:18) but may not be achievable in this world.

Struggling During An Election Week.

PRAY for God's will going into the election.  
Here is a Prayer Guide to help you prayer for the election - https://www.reviveourhearts.com/articles/how-pray-upcoming-election/

Amen is Not the End:

Prayer rarely stops after the "amen." When we passionately cry out to God over any issue, we should, with integrity, also find ourselves praying, "and Lord, if there is any way You can use me to be an answer to this prayer, here I am." When we pray for an election, simple honesty will then require us to follow up our prayer by actually voting.

Vote in the election.

Pray for discernment.  Don't just pray. Seek wisdom.  In this digital age, we are flooded with information.  Be wise as you seek wisdom.  Think Biblically.

Here is a voter guide to help: https://www.ctvmichigan.org/voter-guides/#swmi

PRAY after the election.  

No matter the election results, God is our Rock, our Refuge, and our Salvation. 

This week's Prayer Psalm at Trinity Baptist Church is Psalm 62, which has a great reminder in an election week.

Psalm 62:1 and 2 say, "Truly my soul finds rest in God; my salvation comes from him.  Truly he is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken."

Psalm 62:5 and 6 say, "Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him. Truly he is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken."

The same very important idea is repeated.

And then comes Psalm 62:9.  "Men of low degree are only vanity and men of rank are a lie; In the balances they go up; they are together lighter than breath."

Here is an image to consider.  God is a rock.  All of men, poor and rich, are a balloon.  Remember this when you begin to despair.  

Elections are important, so vote. 
Elected politicians have significant responsibilities in our country, so pray for them, all of them.
Each person is created in the image of God, so respect them.
Each person needs Jesus, so evangelize those who don't know Jesus as their savior and encourage believers to live for Jesus in the power of the Holy Spirit.  

Devotional from The Songs of Jesus by Timothy Keller

May 13 

READ Psalm 62:9–12. 

9 Surely the lowborn are but a breath, the highborn are but a lie. If weighed on a balance, they are nothing; together they are only a breath. 10 Do not trust in extortion or put vain hope in stolen goods; though your riches increase, do not set your heart on them. 11 One thing God has spoken, two things I have heard: “Power belongs to you, God, 12 and with you, Lord, is unfailing love”; and, “You reward everyone according to what they have done.” 

HEALTHY SKEPTICISM. 

If we trust God alone, we no longer fully trust anything else. We don’t trust either “the people” or the elites (verse 9). Neither socialism nor capitalism will bring a better world. We don’t trust in any career path—respectable or otherwise—to fulfill us. What is the one thing you can depend on? That God is both strong and loving (verse 11). But how can he be both loving and fair, since justice demands punishment? God passed the required sentence of death on our sin and then took that punishment himself on the cross. We can never question his love or wisdom in our life circumstances when we see the lengths to which he has gone in order to demonstrate both his justice and his love. 

Prayer: Lord, help me prosper in my work, but don’t let career ups and downs have power over me. Provide for my family’s financial needs, but don’t let wealth have dominion over me. I need not to love these good things less, but to love you far more than them. Give me the freedom that comes only through loving you intensely. Amen.

Struggling Christians In Relationship

Over the next couple of classes, we'll talk about the struggles Christians face in relationships with other people.  Parents, children, difficult people.

This week's class (10.25.26) introduced the "Struggling in Relationships" section.

We were created to be in relationship with others (Genesis 2).

Because of sin, relationships are broken and challenging (Genesis 3 and the entire Bible)

When you are saved, you are brought into a right relationship with God and into God's family (Galatians 4:4-7)

In this life, relationships with other people, Christians and non-Christians, can be a blessing or challenge.

Often, blessings come from working through hard things. 

Remember Romans 12:18.

“If it is possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.”

In her article How to Respond to Difficult People, Caroline Newheiser lists several points to consider after you have carefully examined your words, actions, and heart.

Some verses about how to relate to difficult people.

• Pray for the challenging person.  Matthew 5:44
• Pray for yourself. James 5:16
• Overlook the offense, if possible. Proverbs 19:11
• If needed, go to the person seeking reconciliation. Matthew 5:23 – 24
• Involve others when appropriate. Matthew 18:16 – 20
• Seek (and follow) godly counsel. Proverbs 11:14b
• Do not spread gossip about how you have been offended. Psalm 34:13
• Recognize that you have truly been sinned against. Mark 7:20 – 23
• Do not sinfully react. Proverbs 21:23
• Seek the other person's good. Romans 12:14
• Find ways to serve the troublesome person. Romans 12:20
• Have a heart ready to forgive. Matthew 6:12
• Above all, look to Jesus as your example. "Consider Him who endured from sinners such hostility against Himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted." Hebrews 12:3

Struggling in Spiritual Growth

What is spiritual growth?  We had a great class discussion, and here is a summary of that time.

Spiritual growth is a lifelong battle filled with amazing blessings and various challenges.  To grow, the believer needs to persevere in the Lord.  Spiritual growth will be marked by a growing understanding of God, his holiness, my sinfulness, and God's provision. 

Two of the Bible passages related to this topic are Philippians 1:3 - 26 and 3.

First, look at 1:3 - 26.  It is filled with prayer (v. 4, 9, 19), God's faithfulness (v. 6) and testimony of God's goodness (12 - 14).  There are no strong commands, but there are descriptions of Christian life that flow from who God is and what He is doing.

Then, check out chapter 3.  The first two verses are filled with commands.  Rejoice in the Lord (v. 1).  "Look out for the dogs, look out for the evildoers, look out for those who mutilate" (v. 2).  Be joyful because of who you are in Christ.  Be aware of those who are trying to lead you away from Jesus Christ and the Gospel.  Paul then goes on to say that he has done many things that should give him confidence, but they give him nothing.  The essential, most important thing is knowing Christ Jesus and being in Him.  This chapter continues with Paul writing about pressing on (12), straining forward (13), and pressing on (14) - a lot of struggle-filled language.  

Spiritual growth comes from God, and we are involved in this process.  Another way to think of spiritual growth is progressive sanctification.

Progressive sanctification is the supernatural process accomplished through the Father (1 Thess. 5:23), the Son (Eph. 5:26) and the Holy Spirit (2 Thess. 2:13; 1 Peter 1:2) and in cooperation with man (Romans 8; Galatians 5; Philippians 2:12-13; 1 Cor. 15:10). Progressive sanctification is an ongoing process (Phil. 1:6) towards the goal of Christ-likeness (Rom. 8:29). 

 Here is the definition of sanctification in my ordination paper.

Sanctification is God's ongoing work in the believer's life, whereby the Spirit of God, in cooperation with the believer, brings about holiness in the believer's character, conversation, and conduct.  Romans 15:16 and 1 Corinthians 6:11 show that the Holy Spirit is involved in sanctification.  In Romans 8, Paul writes about life through the Spirit.  A believer is set free from the law of sin and death because of the Spirit (v. 2).  The Holy Spirit enables us to fulfill God’s law (v. 4).  “The mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace” (v. 6).  A believer is saved by the Holy Spirit and needs to rely upon the Holy Spirit to live out the Christian life (Galatians 3:3). 

The reality is spiritual growth is a struggle for every believer.  It is a fight against sin and selfishness.

Another specific area that many, if not most, Christians struggle with is evangelism.  This week, we introduced evangelism with a homework assignment.  Find an evangelism technique that uses each of these numbers 10, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, and 2. 

In the next week's class, October 18, we will talk about one specific 
look at 7 different evangelism techniques,
continue with the struggles & spiritual growth & evangelism with more discussion and specific prayer,
and look at the meaning of Colossians 2:6, 7.

 

Don't Make Disciples

Today, October 13, I have the privilege of presenting a workshop at the Bridge Fellowship's annual conference.  The workshop is titled "Why Churches Don't Make Disciples."

On September 13, Pastor Brett preached a vision message at Trinity Baptist Church. 

In August, he shared his excitement about the planning process and about sharing the message.  Leading up to the message, some people were speculating what this exciting vision message would be.  Were we beginning a building program, changing our name, starting a new program, or making a staff change?  

One of the message's opening points was that we weren't going to sit back and watch something happen.  This vision is something we all are going to need to engage in.   You can watch the sermon HERE.

Here is the Biblical basis of the vision and the message.

• Mission of the Church - Matthew 28:19 -20 - To exalt Christ and make disciples.
• Pattern of the Church - Acts 2:42 - From a lecture you attend to a body you belong to.
• Schedule of the Church - Hebrews 10:24 - 25 - From an hour to fill to the every-moment-of-life goal of discipleship.

Remember the schedule serves the pattern, and the pattern serves the mission.

With all of this in mind, what is essential for discipleship?  The Holy Spirit using these four things is absolutely necessary.

1. Prayer
2. The Bible
3. Learning
4. Community

Here are seven reasons churches don’t disciple, and this list is not exhaustive.  The quotes under each point are from the articles unless otherwise noted.

The first five reasons come from a 9Marks article series.

• Because they preach cheap grace (9Marks article).

"Cheap grace is the preaching of forgiveness without requiring repentance, baptism without church discipline. Communion without confession.  Cheap grace is grace without discipleship, grace without the cross, grace without Jesus Christ" (Dietrich Bonhoeffer, The Cost of Discipleship, 43 - 44).   

 If salvation is reduced to merely saying a prayer, discipleship is unnecessary.  However, if a believer's life is marked by a dependence upon God, we will always strive to depend on God more and more. 

When evangelism shifts from preaching the deceitfulness and seriousness of sin, and our desperate need for a Savior, to telling people how awesome they are and merely giving words to repeat, cheap grace becomes a sad substitute for the Gospel and evangelism.

• Because they are seeker-sensitive but believer-insensitive (9Marks article).

Churches can become so focused on doing whatever it takes to get those who are not part of the church to come to a specific church that they lose their zeal for biblical disciple-making.

• Because they are less converted (9Marks article).

"In some large, well-known evangelical churches, you can become a member simply by ticking a box on a welcome card.  There is little or no attempt to examine the person spiritually to try to ascertain that they are truly followers of Christ." 

When people talk about being born a Christian or about something they did in the past, they don't have a true understanding of conversion.  Often, people become members of a local church without a clear understanding of the Gospel and its life-changing application, and what it means to be part of the family.

In the church, meaningful membership matters.  The obvious first place to teach about meaningful membership is in the new members class.  Another, less obvious place to teach about it is anytime you can take to remind the whole church what it is: services when new members are voted in, and teaching times when members and others can be reminded of what it is and ask questions about how it works.  Trinity has offered classes like "We are the Church,"  and "Be a Disciple and Make Disciples" to remind the church who we are and what we do. 

• Because they are program-dependent (9Marks article)

"A program - however biblically faithful - is no substitute for ongoing, personal discipling."   

"Programs can imply that discipleship is a matter of following the correct 'process' rather than cultivating the correct character."

• Because they are too often ashamed of the gospel and therefore assume the gospel (9Marks article)

"'Growth without the regular, faithful teaching of the gospel is growth without depth.  If we want depth as well as breadth, there's no substitute for gospel-saturated preaching and conversation.'"

 "The deep, wide discipleship we long for in our churches will only come when we stop assuming the gospel, and actually proclaim it."

In our discipleship, we can become afraid to call out sin and call people to repentance.  I do believe in the assurance of salvation.  I also believe that if someone shows no fruit of salvation, we should ask tough questions.  

• Because they don't pray.

In The Praying Church, Paul Miller shares some challenging prayer ideas.  One of the book's guiding principles is "Prayer is not one more activity of the church - it lies at the heart of all the church's ministry." (26) 

One question asked during the workshop was, "How can pastors help their church pray corporately?"  The easy but hard question is to have a church prayer meeting.  Whether your church has a prayer meeting or not, another way to help your church pray together is to share a weekly or monthly prayer theme.   More on this coming in a post later this week.

• Because they promote "perfection," not sanctification.

Discipleship often doesn't happen because church members want to appear perfect rather than live out sanctification, sinners growing into the image of Christ through dependence on the Holy Spirit.

Some Resources:

• 9Marks Discipleship Journal 
• Deep Discipleship by J.T. English
• Discipling by Mark Dever
• Workshop Powerpoint in PDF