How Does Someone Lose Over 1000 Friends?

Originally posted on February 17, 2019

For the link to some great verse graphics to share online, click HERE

Some people may have noticed a recent change in my Facebook status/usage.  Most probably did not.  About a month ago, I downsized my use of and friend list on Facebook.  I went for over 1000 Facebook "friends" to 47.  First of all, I want to share with you how I made such a big cut.

Two criteria were used to downsize this list.

1. My family stayed on as friends.
2. Two of my closest longtime friends and ministry partners (and their immediate family), Shane Miller and Casey Jacobs stayed on as friends.  I forgot to mention a third friend, not quite as long time but a Gospel ministry partner - David Sellers.

If you are a family member who was deleted, sorry about that.
If you are not in one of these categories, please let me explain why I made such a drastic cut.

I have written many times about the challenges of the last two years and two ministries not working out as planned.  My heart and mind became very weary especially in January and in that weariness, I lost my focus.  Instead of focusing on God and His glory, I began to focus on myself.   This led to comparing my life and challenges with other people's Facebook post lives, especially those involved in ministry.  To be very honest it was hard to see other people's ministries falling into place while I felt like mine was falling apart.  Facebook provided an opportunity for me to share Bible verses, great quotes, and online resources.  It also became a daily fight against my own selfishness.  

One day I decided, without any public announcement, to go through my friend list and do a major purge.

Now some people might be thinking "You didn't need to do that.  Just don't go on Facebook." OR "The problem isn't Facebook.  It is your heart."

First, Facebook provides a way for me to see what is going on in our families lives.

Second, I know that Facebook wasn't and isn't the problem.  At the same time, because of where I was in life, a flooded newsfeed wasn't helping me think right and glorify God.  What I was posting wasn't really the problem.  My attitude while reading my newsfeed was the problem and it wasn't helping my spiritual growth.  

My Facebook usage was not helping me live out Psalm 115:1

Not to us, O LORD, not to us, but to your name give glory, for the sake of your steadfast love and your faithfulness.

It took a little time but since making these changes, my thoughts are continuing to move from "Give me what they have" to "Give Me Jesus"

Do I think everyone needs to do the same exact thing I did?

NO.

Do I think everyone,  especially those who desire to glorify God, should examine their hearts and their social media usage?

YES!

So here is a passage of Scripture and some questions I am going to ask myself regularly.

Matthew 6:19-21, which begins with "do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth" and ends with "for where your treasure is, there your heart will be."

The questions are...

1. Is what I am posting demonstrating that my hope is in the LORD and encouraging others to hope in the LORD?
2. What is my heart attitude when I am looking at other people's posts?  If it is God-glorifying, after praying, what do I need to do?  Unfriend or Unfollow someone?  Take a break from social media?

I have been slowly reading Deep Work by Cal Newport that has also challenged me to think about my social media usage.

Here are some great quotes I have been thinking through and deciding how to implement them in my life.

The problem with this binary response [quit the internet or accept our current distracted state as inevitable] is that these two choices are much too crude to be useful.  (183)

Here is a third option:  Accepting that these tools are not inherently evil and that some of them might be quite vital to your success but at the same time also accepting that the threshold for allowing a site regular access to your time and attention (not to mention personal data) should be more stringent and that most people should therefore be using many fewer such tools.   (184)

It is my prayer that God would use His Word ( Psalm 115:1, Matthew 6:19-21 and other verses) to grow in me and you more of a passion for Him and not the things of this world.  
It is my prayer that God would use His work in my life through so many different people to point people to Him.  As I share updates, book reviews, and other things, I want to glorify God.



If you are interested in reconnecting through Facebook, let me know or re-friend me.  Be aware that I really want to use the platform to help me and others glorify God.

Solomon and Social Media

The article below was originally posted at www.challies.com/christian-living/solomon-on-social-media

There are many who doubt or downplay the relevance of the Old Testament to our times. Those people have probably never taken the time to read the book of Proverbs. I read from Proverbs almost every day and I am continually amazed at just how relevant this book is. It seems that wisdom is timeless. The lessons David taught Solomon speak to myself and my children as much as they did to the men and women of ancient Israel. The wisdom of God given to Solomon continues to ring loud and clear in my heart.

If Solomon were alive today and we were to ask him how we are to relate to one another in this digital world, if we were to ask him how we can honor God in our use of all these social media available to us today, here is how he might respond.

Count to ten before posting, sharing, sending, submitting. “Do you see a man who is hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him (29:20).” How many arguments could be avoided and how many relationships saved if people were only a little less hasty with their words? Before posting an article or before replying to a Facebook status, it is always (always!) a good idea to re-read what you have written and consider if your words accurately express your feelings and if expressing such feelings is necessary and edifying. And while I’m on the topic, a spell-check doesn’t hurt either.

Leave the fool to his folly. “Answer not a fool according to his folly, lest you be like him yourself (26:4).” There are times when it is best to leave a foolish person to his own devices rather than to try to change him. Sometimes it is best just to leave him alone rather than providing him more ammunition to work with. This means that it may be best to ignore the troll, to leave a rebuke unanswered, than to bait him and to suffer his wrath.

Expose folly. “Answer a fool according to his folly, lest he be wise in his own eyes (26:5).” Here it is—undeniable proof that the Bible contradicts itself! Are we to answer a fool according to his folly or not? Evidently this “contradiction” is deliberate and is in the Bible to show that there is no absolute law in this situation. There are times when folly must be exposed, either if the fool is one you believe is honestly seeking after wisdom, or if his folly will damage others. If a fool is impacting others, drawing them into his foolishness, he must be exposed for the sake of the church’s health.

Know when to walk away. “If a wise man has an argument with a fool, the fool only rages and laughs, and there is no quiet (29:9).” There are times when you need to walk away instead of carrying on an argument. Foolish people have no real desire to learn or to be wise. Instead, they only seek opportunities to loudly proclaim the folly. Walk away so you can have peace. Shut down, log off, erase—do what you need to.

Be careful what you read. “Like one who binds the stone in the sling is one who gives honor to a fool (26:8).” Be careful whose words you read and whose wisdom you trust. Foolish men may seem wise, but they will still lead others astray. If you give honor to a foolish man by reading and soaking in his words, you are as foolish as a person who binds his stone in a sling, rendering the sling useless and leaving himself defenseless.

Avoid the gossiper. “The words of a whisperer are like delicious morsels; they go down into the inner parts of the body (29:22).” There are many web sites, blogs and Twitter accounts dedicated almost entirely to gossip, to sharing what is dishonorable rather than what is noble. Avoid these people and their gossip!

Be humble. “Let another praise you, and not your own mouth; a stranger and not your own lips (27:2).” “One’s pride will bring him low, but he who is lowly in spirit will obtain honor (29:23).” Let others praise you. If you never receive praise from anyone, especially from those who are wise, it may be a good time to examine your heart and examine if you are walking in the ways of wisdom. Those who are humble and lowly in spirit will receive honor while the arrogant will be brought low.

Mind your own business. “Whoever meddles in a quarrel not his own is like one who takes a passing dog by the ears (26:17).” If you have ever grabbed a dog by the ears you know it will inevitably bring trouble. Grabbing a strange dog by the ears will bring even more trouble. Stay out of other people’s fights rather than wading into them as if they are your own. There may be times to wade into a theological dispute or to try to mediate a disagreement in the blogosphere, but wisdom would usually tell you to mind your own business.

Don’t be a troublemaker. “Whoever digs a pit will fall into it, and a stone will come back on him who starts it rolling (26:27).” Those who exist only to bring trouble to others will pay a price. And unfortunately, on the Internet there are many of these people. Don’t be one!

Examine why you write. “A continual dripping on a rainy day and a quarrelsome wife are alike (27:14).” The proverb speaks of a quarrelsome wife, but it could as easily apply to anyone. If you are writing merely to be quarrelsome or because you enjoy an argument, perhaps it is best to find something else to do. “As charcoal to hot embers and wood to fire, so is a quarrelsome man for kindling strife.” Do not be the kind of person who kindles strife for his own enjoyment.

Be careful what you teach. “Whoever misleads the upright into an evil way will fall into his own pit, and the blameless will have a godly inheritance (28:10).” Those who choose to teach others accept a grave responsibility; if they mislead others, they must expect that there will be consequences. Be careful what you teach, what you share, what beliefs you express. Remember that your words are public and that they may remain available forever.

Walk with the Lord. “Whoever trusts in his own mind is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom will be delivered (28:26).” And here is the key to everything else. Trust in the Lord rather than in yourself. Walk with the Lord and in the ways of wisdom taught in the pages of the Bible. Be a wise man or woman of the Word, rather than a fool who trusts in his own wisdom (or lack thereof). Arm yourself with spiritual maturity, with true wisdom, before venturing into the world of social media.

The Sinfulness of Technology and the internet

You may have decided to read this blog because you hate technology  and the internet and wanted to have some ammunition in your anti-technology/anti-internet war.
If this is you, first of all, why are you reading a blog on the internet?

Second, the main point of this entry is that technology and the internet are not sinful.  People are sinful (Romans 3:23).

Technology and the internet will reveal what is going on in a person’s heart.  This is very similar to Paul’s statement in 1st Timothy 6:10 about money.  “For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil.”

Money is not the evil.  The love of, the worship of, the finding your hope and joy in, money is the problem.

In a 2009 article John Piper wrote about two possible responses to social media like facebook and twitter.

One says: These media tend to shorten attention spans, weaken discursive reasoning, lure people away from Scripture and prayer, disembody relationships, feed the fires of narcissism, cater to the craving for attention, fill the world with drivel, shrink the soul’s capacity for greatness, and make us second-handers who comment on life when we ought to be living it. So boycott them and write books (not blogs) about the problem.

The other response says: Yes, there is truth in all of that, but instead of boycotting, try to fill these media with as much provocative, reasonable, Bible-saturated, prayerful, relational, Christ-exalting, truth-driven, serious, creative pointers to true greatness as you can.

To read the entire article click HERE

The pastors at Emmanuel Baptist Church understand the internet and social media are part of the culture we live in.
Instead of hoping it goes away or it is not a problem, we want to glorify God with our website and other online resources.  We would love to see the members of EBC fill their facebook, instagram and twitter accounts  with “as much provocative, reasonable, Bible-saturated, prayerful, relational, Christ-exalting, truth-driven, serious, creative pointers to true greatness” as they can.

We would love to see our members GLORIFY GOD in all of life, including online activities.

In writing all of this, I know that many people reading this article are already connected with various online resources.
Here are two challenges for each of us…
1.  GLORIFY GOD with your status updates and online conversations.
2.  SHARE WITH OTHER CHRIST FOLLOWERS the importance of pointing people towards Christ in life and on the web.  You can even share stories verbally with those who are not online.